I love you in spite of...

I love you in spite of…

I love you in spite of all your flaws,

and all my flaws.

I love you in spite of what you’ve been through

in spite of all the things I have to go through to be with you.

I love you in spite of all the righteousness you bear 

despite the wrongness that were already there.

I love you in spite of all the other people you love and who love you

despite the uncertainty that in the future, it will just be me and you.

I love you in spite of your unwillingness to fight for us,

when I went through hell and high water and 

fought through false judgments in choosing you.

I love you in spite of all your hardships

that only I can see through and even went through with you.

I love you in spite of your measurable way of loving me.

I love you despite the fact that you got tired of loving me.

How do we want to be loved?

I always thought that how we love other people is the same way we want others to love us. Growing old has taught me that the amount of time, compassion, care and love you give to another may not always come back to you. It is always either more, or less.

You might ask, if this is the case, then there is no use in exerting too much effort, spending more time investing in a relationship, right? The hardest thing to learn is to let go of all expectations. Give until it hurts, and do not ever expect anything in return.

This is the sad reality. 

The hardest thing to hear is to have someone tell you to your face that he can only love you this much, without any plans on fighting for you or sacrificing even a bit of himself to truly deserve your love.

Those are the harshest words you can ever slap someone with, and the most difficult to bear and accept most especially when you are willing to go to hell and high waters for that person.

Then you ask yourself, am I not worthy?

Then we go back to letting go of all expectations and giving until it hurts. That is because this is the only way you know how to love.