Of Awkward Mean Girls Bullying

I have this really weird feeling that the universe is conspiring to stop my mean girl streak. I am not exactly mean, as in mean. It’s just that I have this way of saying exactly what’s on my mind sans the tact, thinking over, consideration and editing. I sort of blurb the words out of my mouth before I could actually think what they mean or who they would affect (or hurt) in the process. So most of the time, I don’t 100% ‘mean’ the ‘mean’ words I say. They’re just mere ‘unedited’ observations without the flowery adjectives or much thought. Needless to say, I don’t wish bad things to happen to anyone because I know how it feels to be put in a bad light or be in a bad state, believe me, I do.

So now, I feel that the world around me is sending me a message telling me to be less critical and more sensitive to the people around me. An example of this conspiracy is like what happened to this old, engineer in the office who looks like someone I watched from a horror movie. We just received news that he had a heart attack (read: he’s recovering now). I was not even making fun of the poor old man. I just wanted to remember what that movie was where I saw his look-alike. Yet, I feel really bad for what happened to him and posting his pic on FB before (to ask help to remember that movie) didn’t do any good for him.

Another sign is all over the TV series which I am currently hooked up to: Awkward. It is about a 16-year old Jenna Hamilton who is that odd girl trying to survive high school in spite of the misconstrued accident which left the whole world to think that she is suicidal and plain, odd. Prior to my watching the first season of Awkward, I came across (from Yahoo News to WikiPedia) the story of the infamous Seung-Hui Cho and the Virginia Tech massacre. So if you add up the two, you will have = high school bullying, suicide and all forms of ‘meanness’ and its end-result.

But don’t jump into conclusions and think that I am all these – mean, suicidal, psychopath, bully and weird. Though you can do a double thought on the last descriptive noun. Ehrm. What I am trying to say is, even though ‘non-critical’ words bordering on ‘fluffy’ come out of my mouth, something still happens to that object of my blurb. Here is an example.

me and my baby bro

Me to my youngest baby brother: Ooooh you’re sooo cute! Taba-taba! (Very chubby!)

Next day:

My mom: Haay Ican has a fever, it’s because you said yesterday that he’s very chubby.

Another classic example:

Me: Hon, I am not complaining but, why are you so hyper today?

Next day:

Honey: Hon, my back is aching and I’m having chills, I think I am down with the flu. Because you said I was very hyper yesterday.

Me: What THE?

My boyfriend told me I have a “curse” (his word for lack of a better term or one of his lost in translation moments) or “usog” in Tagalog which means:

Usog is a Filipino superstition that attributes an illness to the greeting of a stranger. It is believed that young children are susceptible to usog. If after encountering a stranger, a child develops a fever, the stranger is sought out and asked to wipe his or her saliva on the child's forehead, chest or abdomen.

http://tagaloglang.com/Tagalog-English-Dictionary/English-Translation-of-Tagalog-Word/usog.html

Seriously?

Thanks to this “usog” I will carry the burden of guilt every time I express my disdain or appreciation of something or someone then something bad happens afterwards. So, should I just keep my mouth shut all the time to keep ‘karmic’ words from coming out? Hmm, that’s hard but doable.

But then, you know what I think, maybe this is universe’s way of saying that I should pursue my writing! When I am writing, there are no ‘usog’ or karmic words that could be attached to someone or something, because the words are not spoken by my mouth, but with my mind. When I write things like my plans for a year, they come true! And most of all, when I write, I get a lot of time to think and edit what I have to say therefore, no mean things will come out (most of the time and unintentionally), unless I intentionally bash someone in my blogs (or in FB). It’s a win-win situation for all right?

Ooh, I really love technology and the things it allows us to do! 


I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled poets to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean.
Socrates